It’s Hard Being a Mom

There are moments when I wish I could ‘save’ my kids from having to do hard things.  I know in my head that it’s good for them and that they’ll be better for it in the future, but my heart aches to swoop in and rescue them.  Swim Club was a nightmare today.  Emma didn’t want to go from the start and it just escalated when they took away their flutter boards and made them try to swim by themselves.  She was crying, but kept going (with a little encouragement from her teacher).  Ben on the other hand... started out great, but when they took his life vest away and made him try to swim with just a flutter board... well, that’s when the ‘fun’ started.  He screamed and cried up and down the pool as the teacher ‘helped’ him keep going.  His terrified screams of, “I’m scared!” just about ripped out my heart.  Initially, I went over and told him he needed to stop crying and keep trying, but as it continued I broke down.  There’s nothing like having both kids crying in the pool, and mom crying on the sidelines.  I knew he wasn’t in danger, as the teacher was right with him the entire time, but every time he caught my eye I could hear his thoughts asking me why I wasn’t saving him from this torture.  Wow, being a mom is hard!  When they finally got out of the pool, he just stood shaking and crying as I dried him off and all I could do was tell him how good he did and that I was proud of him for trying. I don’t think he was convinced, but I hope someday he will forget that I didn’t ‘save’ him and only remember that he can do hard things.  Emma had to ‘jump’ in the pool three times until she stopped crying.  The next 2 ½ weeks should be interesting.  I hope my heart can handle it!